This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. – Winston Churchill, November 10, 1942

I am only an average man, but, by George, I work harder at it than the average man. – Theodore Roosevelt

Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm. – John F. Kennedy

When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’ – Sydney J. Harris

They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance. – Union General John Sedgwick, d. May 9, 1864, last words

Maps encourage boldness. They’re like cryptic love letters. They make anything seem possible. – Mark Jenkins

Poverty is uncomfortable; but nine times out of ten the best thing that can happen to a young man is to be tossed overboard and compelled to sink or swim. – James A. Garfield

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity. – Ambrose Bierce

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There’s just one problem - it’s in North Korea. – John Stewart

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. – Theodore Roosevelt

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; in practice, there is. – Chuck Reid

There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way. – Christopher Morley

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. – Terry Pratchett

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. – H. L. Mencken

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. – Oscar Wilde

While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, another is busy making mistakes and becoming superior. – Henry C. Link

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. – Martin Mull

Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. – Cadet maxim, USMA, West Point, NY

Failure is the line of least persistence. – Alfred Brandt

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. – P.J. O’Rourke

The European brand of fascism will probably present its most serious postwar threat to us via Latin America. – Henry A. Wallace, Vice President from 1941-1945

The word “politics” is derived from the word “poly,” meaning “many,” and the word “ticks,” meaning “blood sucking parasites.” – Larry Hardiman

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. – Mark Twain

Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. – Erich Fromm

What does it mean when guys like us get off to a bad start? Not a goddamn thing! – Phil Harris, Captain of the Alaskan crab-fishing boat Cornelia Marie

A fair and honest narrative of the bad is a voucher for the truth of the good. – Thomas Jefferson

Live as if you were living for the second time and had acted as wrongly the first time as you are about to act now. – Victor E. Frankl

Poor Mexico, so far from God and so close to the United States. – Porfirio Diaz

America, you lost. – Zacarias Moussaoui, upon being sentenced to life in prison

A man can be destroyed but not defeated. – Ernest Hemingway

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. – Steven Wright