The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. - P.J. O'Rourke

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. – Errol Flynn

Stocks fluctuate, next question. - Alan Greenberg, CEO of Bear, Stearns & Co, when questioned on October 21, 1987 about the previous day's crash that wiped out 22.6% of the Dow

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

I've never known any trouble that an hour's reading didn't assuage - Charles De Secondat

Slums may well be breeding grounds of crime, but middle class suburbs are incubators of apathy and delirium. - Cyril Connolly

My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes. - President Reagan, before a scheduled radio broadcast, unaware that the microphone was already on

Opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas Edison