Tuesday, February 28, 2006

If the wind will not serve, take to the oars. – Latin Proverb

Monday, February 27, 2006

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.
– Josh Billings

Friday, February 24, 2006

Charlie McCarthy: “Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?”

W.C. Fields: “He’d think I was a sissy.”

Thursday, February 23, 2006

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. – Voltaire

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I know you’ve come to kill me. Shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man. – Ernesto “Che” Guevara, last words

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Business opportunities are like buses, there’s always another one coming. – Richard Branson

Monday, February 20, 2006

You lose. – President Calvin Coolidge, to a dinner guest who told him she had bet she could get at least three words of conversation from him.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Ah, Monday morning. Time to pay for your two days of debauchery, you hungover drones. – Mr. Burns, The Simpsons

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I saw a billboard for the lottery. It said, “Estimated lottery jackpot 55 million dollars.” I did not know that was estimated. That would suck if you won and they said, “Oh, we were off by two zeroes. We estimate that you are angry!” – Mitch Hedberg

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Youth is a period of missed opportunities. – Cyril Connolly

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
– Matt Groening, Love is Hell

Monday, February 13, 2006

The best revenge is massive success. – Frank Sinatra

Friday, February 10, 2006

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them. – Sir Winston Churchill

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. – Oscar Wilde

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. – George Bernard Shaw

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three. – Laurence J. Peter

Monday, February 06, 2006

Below 20, boys are too rash for flying; above 25, they are too prudent. – W.J. Abbot

Friday, February 03, 2006

Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will. – Jawaharlal Nehru

Thursday, February 02, 2006

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject. – Sir Winston Churchill

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

There are few sorrows, however poignant, in which a good income is of no avail. - Robert Frost